Hello Merkuriusblog family and friends, I’m so glad to have such an amazing online family. I feel so blessed for you guys supportand love all through this journey, from day one till date. I’m so grateful and I appreciate and love each and everyone of you.
The essence of a family like this is GROWTH!. For everyone to experience growth in various aspect of their lives; personally, careers, businesses, relationships, psychologically, mentally, socially and lifestyle in general. This is why I continue to share innovative strategies, insights and wisdom to help us achieve that.
After some research, I took my time to prepare and create this invaluable online course that will help us end this year in a very high note and kick start the new year with so much confidence, enthusiasm, positive energy and practical skillset to crush our goals and enjoy meaningful success in life.
The first time i was invited for keynote speaking, I was nervous but still had the courage to speak, it wasn’t my best performance but I was proud of myself.
I was in a very good place in life then, sound and happy. I was taking care of myself spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally and every other way.
I discovered that courage is not the absence of nervousness. But few years later, life hit me and my family so hard that I lost the sense of how important it is to prioritize self care and that made me lack the ability to take care of myself as I should.
All I focused on was the health challenge, financial difficulties and the sadness of each day. I was consumed by this ugly life experience. But one thing I did was, I never stopped learning and studying, I was still taking courses, reading books, going to seminars and gaining more knowledge and wisdom and yet I feel less confident day after day.
Until I realized what was missing, I was still struggling with confidence and productivity with all my knowledge.
If you have ever been in such situation, or you are in such situation right now, worry no more the solution is here. In this course are simple and yet very powerful practices and ways of boosting your confidence and becoming more productive and very effective both in your personal and professional life.
All you need is just to click the link below and sign up for this course. There are other bonuses that you will enjoy as well. Remember your commitment can take you to levels you never imagined, you can show your commitment by signing up and also by signing up, you are supporting and helping us to spread positivity and make a difference in our world.
Thinking, Feeling and Choosing is the three things that happen in our minds. Thinking and feeling are the two important areas we need to focus on in our everyday lives. Because those two affects the choosing part (decision part). Sometimes we think according to how we feel at the moment, other times our feelings are a product of what we are thinking. You think about a bad incident, you begin to feel bad, you feel good about a new dress, you begin to think good thoughts. It all depends on what you are facing at aparticular moment and your ability to control it.
Majority of the time, what we think determines how we feel, how we make decisions and how we act. Many times you might have heard people make statements like; “I acted without thinking, or I acted out of impulse or I didn’t even know what I was thinking”. All these statements indicates that there can actually be an action without forethought.
The question is; How can we discipline ourselves to think empowering thoughts, so we can actually feel good and possibly act good? If you consider this question and give it a thought, there’s a double reward that comes from it. When you think empowering thoughts, it sprouts up some positive emotional energy and you feel good. Now when you eventually make decisions and acts on them, you feel even better. So you feel good when you think the thoughts and feel much better when you act on the thoughts (Double Reward).
When we understand that these three things is what goes on in our minds (Thinking, Feeling and Choosing) it will help us to better observe them and to become better in different facets of our lives; In leadership, relationship, career, business and social life. When you understand that your action is richly based on how you feel, so if you are not feeling good at any moment, it will help you to pause, retract your movement and re-evaluate yourself before you act. Understanding this will help you make better decisions and fewer errors.
Whatever we focus on, we feel. And focus doesn’t happen without deep thoughts, so when we are mindful of what we think, it will help to filter what we focus on, which will regulate how we feel and then govern how we act. This is something that from the moment Iunderstood it, I gained control. It doesn’t mean am perfect, but I improved.
A young man or woman that acted nice towards you today, can act like a beast towards you tomorrow, and it will seem like they have split personality. This is as a result of lack of understanding of these three things that happen in our minds. Our brains has more than 90 billion neurons that make 100 trillion connections or synapses, and this great number of neurons is responsible for the traits that make us uniquely humans; our thoughts, memories and emotions. So it’s not going to be easy to navigate all the activities that happen in our brains in order to gain control of these three things (Thinking,Feeling,Choosing) but it’s worth it when we try.
As I conclude this week’s blog, I just need you to understand that there’s always room for growth and improvement in life. There’s always a better side to move on to, you don’t have to normalize emotional torture and suffering because you think or believe there’s no other way. If you need help, seek it. Do not spend the later days of your life wallowing in pains of regret, the time to act is now, and this is what me and my team are here for, to help you, it’s what we live for.
And in case you are wondering what are the things that you can think on to make you feel good, make good decisions and act on them, for a start I will suggest you read a verse of scripture, Philippians 4:8; even if you are not a person of faith, I understand, am not here to judge anyone or preach religion. I love you just like I love everyone else and I want the best for you.That scripture will be a great way to start, I promise you.
Thank you for taking out your time to read this blog, we hope it added value to your life. STAY TUNED, we have amazing thing for you next week.
I was sitting in a friend’s office few days ago, and this beautiful, young and vibrant lady walked in with a gloomy face, I guess she is friends with my friend. And she looked at my friend in the face and said; “Am so angry right now, am very angry at someone and I need to call the person to let her know that am angry with her”. I was sitting beside my friend in a brown leather chair, very soft and comfortable. And I didn’t say one word yet, so my friend looked at her and said, I don’t think is a good idea for you to call her right now (talking about the lady that got her angry) and I just nodded my head in agreement, and said slowly; yeah, I don’t think is a good idea too.
She insisted that she wants to call her, I can see she was boiling inside, and wants to drop the bomb, her face was almost red. So my friend applied a little bit pressure with his opinion of how it’s not a good idea especially right now. He went ahead to say, I don’t think you are in the right state of mind for that kind of conversation, you are very angry right now and might not be in control of your emotions and the words that might come out from your mouth. I suggest you give it a little time, so you can regain your calmness. I never wanted to say much, I nodded my head again and said I think he is right. She finally didn’t make the call, but all those moments, all I was thinking about was a conversation that can change and brighten the atmosphere in the room. Aha! HERE IT IS; I lodged in a new conversation about stress management, I was able to get her involved in the conversation, and that’s how she forget about her initial plight, at least for a while.
I will still comeback to this story, I just want to refresh our memories a bit about last week’s blog, we talked about the Spiritual aspect of Holistic self-care (you can visit last week’s blog for better understanding). We also talked about self realization (Awareness and Discovery). Today, we want to discuss the emotional, psychological and social aspect, because all these three are connected together.
Back to the story, it’s surprising most times how we unintentionally sell our emotions to others, how we allow others to be in control of how we feel, thereby affecting how we think. And the tricky thing is; even in those moments, we somehow convince ourselves that we are still in control. But let me ask you this; Is there any human you know that naturally wants to feel bad, angry, anxiety or depressed at any given time? Every human wants to feel good, experience happiness, peace and joy at all times. So when we are feeling bad, deep down it’s not what we truly want, but somehow we try to convince ourselves that it’s normal and we are still in control. Now note this; you can’t really practice Holistic self-care without learning how to be in control of your emotions and thoughts. The young lady at my friend’s office said, she was angry because of someone else’s behavior towards her, this means her feelings at that moment was been controlled by someone else. The person was indirectly in charge of her feelings. Now because of what the other person did, it affected her that she couldn’t separate herself from her emotion, she said; “Am angry” not that “she feels angry“. These are different, “You are angry means you are your emotion (anger), “You feel angry means you have separated yourself from your emotion. You see yourself as a separate entity from your emotion, this is called DETACHMENT. Now, Between you and your emotion is the “feeling”, this means that you feel your emotion, not that you are the emotion. Since it is a feeling, it means you can change it if you can separate yourself from your emotion. When you feel a low energy emotion, you can simply change it, by choosing to feel another type of emotion (high energy emotion) and you can do this by re-channeling and re-focusing your thoughts on something else that can change that feeling. But I must warn you, this is not as easy as it sounds, it requires observation and continuous practice, but it’s achievable.
When you learn this technique, it will be difficult to sell your feelings to someone else. You will be solely responsible for how you feel and your emotions. And when that happens it means; you will learn how not take the stress of work to your home, spouse or kids, you can not take the heart break of a failed relationship into the new one, you can not allow an unpleasant situation that happened in the day to control your evening. You will learn how to take low energy emotions like; blame, guilt, despair, regret, anger, anxiety, hate and so on, and replace it with high energy emotions like; peace, love, empathy, kindness, gratitude, beauty, joy and so on.. This doesn’t mean that you won’t feel low energy emotions sometimes, it means that you can quickly withdraw yourself from it whenever you find yourself there. When you understand that you are solely responsible for how you feel and your emotions, then you will work hard to master it positively. Only Then you can practice self care effectively.
When it comes to the psychological aspect, the best approach is to educate yourself with books and materials on psychology. Becoming intelligent psychologically, helps you develop greater philosophy about life and also gives you global perspective. Psychology is all about studying and understanding your mind and how it functions. Knowing the factors and mental characteristics that govern your behavior as a person. This means you will understand the reasons behind your actions, and you will uncover your hidden mental strengths. This will help you to identify things and materials that are toxic to your mind and to avoid them. The great thing about mastering the spiritual, emotional, and psychological aspect of self care is; it makes the social aspect easy and effective. Socially you won’t be under pressure because you have peace within. You radiate what you have within unto others and that brings fulfillment and gives you relevance. You bring peace where peace is lacking, You bring love where there’s hate, You bring joy and smiles to those mourning and comfort to the distressed, and hope to the hopeless. The thing that sum this up is the ability to give unto others what you have within, Holistic self-care is not complete and effective without contribution to others. Connection is the essence of living, and true connection happens through sincere contribution and service. This is so because we are all one with humanity.
You see, when we work towards all those different aspects, the physical aspect becomes easy. It is very important for us to work on our physical body, but when we fail to take care of the main thingsfirst, it becomes a problem. Most suicides is not as a result of lack of money or poverty. Rich people who can afford any spa, hire a professional trainer, get the best nutritionist and so on still commits suicide. Why; because of psychological, spiritual and emotional distress. They feel empty, unfulfilled and lack of inner peace and meaningfulness. This is not just some blog to make you feel good, these are proven strategies that will help you practice Holistic self care effectively and make it a lifestyle. Is it going to be easy? NO, Is it going to be possible and practicable? YES! Is it going to worth it? ABSOLUTELY YES!
As I leave you today, I want you to decide on the area you want to focus on first, you can’t do all at once, it will overwhelm you. I want you to focus on one at a time and give it a go with all you’ve got. Applied knowledge is the real power not knowledge itself. You wouldn’t know what you are missing in your life, until you experience the advantages of Holistic self care. Remember first thing, think about Holistic self-care, have a mental picture of what it means to you, hold unto that mental picture, focus and reminisce on it. Then you will start attracting the things that will make that picture possible and repel the things that won’t. Only then can you begin the journey and take on each aspect of your concentration. I hope this blog was able to inspire you to take action, you deserve the best and the best is what I wish for you. Thank you for your time, love and support, please subscribe and I will see you again next week.
There must come a time in our lives that we need to step down from excitement to commitment. Just like the excitementof a wedding, doesn’t equal the commitment of the marriage. Just like the excitement of graduation, doesn’t equal the commitment that will bring success. The excitement of one win, doesn’t equal the commitment that will lead to another win. Learning the line between excitement and commitment is undeniably important.
The word “Tomb” means a house, chamber or vault for the dead. But the original purpose of a tomb was to protect the dead and provide the deceased with a dwelling, equipped with necessities for the afterlife. So Tomb actually means a place where you design and protect what you need for the next phase of life. With this little explanation; In your own perspective, what comes to mind when you hear the word “Tomb Of Commitment” Please I want you to stop reading right now and write your thoughts down about this word. I want you to do this because we are aiming to achieve something valuable here.
Commitment on the other hand is not just the state of being dedicated to a cause or pledging to do something in the future. Commitment is NOW, it is not a state, because state changes. Our states, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, physical and even socially changes, but NOW doesn’t change, NOW is NOW, what changes is what you do with NOW, not NOW itself. So in order to understand very well what commitment means, it has to be drawn from NOW, not from the changeable states of a human being. Commitment is seen, not promised. Your daily activities in the NOW, defines your commitment. You don’t say; “Am committed to building a great future” No! You do in the NOW what will create a great future. But if you choose to say it; it may go like this; “Am committed in doing NOW what will build me a great future”. The difference between this two statements is; The first statement is made in a particular state of mind or consciousness, which can change tomorrow, but the later statement is made with intentionality to observe the NOW and do and create in the NOW. You don’t say it to satisfy your ego or feelings at a given time, rather you say it and do it even when the feeling is not there, that is commitment, it’s not controlled by state, it is seen in the NOW, notwithstanding the state or feeling.
TOMB OF COMMITMENT
Tomb of Commitment simply means the psychological, emotional, spiritual, physical and social chambers designed to nurture and protect the characters or the doings in the NOW that will launch one successfully into the next stage of life. There’re many tools needed to build this Tomb or chamber, one of such tools is discipline. But we are not going to go deep into that today. My assignment today is to help you understand that Commitment is not promised, and it’s not built on hope. Commitment is seen in our everyday lives, and it is built in the NOW!. I want to awaken your awareness on this subject to perhaps see it differently today, and understand it better in order to benefit from it. And I hope I have helped some of you achieve that. But you have to know that building this chamber is not as easy as it sounds, it requires work and strategies. I may teach more on that in my future blogs, but you have to stay connected to learn about the strategies and tools to build this tomb or chambers. So you need to go hit the subscribe button now, it’s free. Remember there can’t be a resurrection without a tomb. A lot of things happen in the tomb and those things determine the life you enjoy after.
Thank you for taking out your time to read this blog, I hope it added more value. Please stay tuned and also share to add value to someone’s life. I will see you next week.
The first step to trusting yourself psychologically and gaining psychological safety is HONESTY TO ONESELF. The second is the believe and commitment to serve and advance a purpose greater than self. There are many other ways to develop psychological trust and safety, but I want to buttress on this two steps for now. And please note this; As easy as this steps may seem or sound, it’s not an easy thing to do. It requires courage and sacrifice.
It’s so much easier to have or develop physical safety than Psychological safety, and without safety you can’t trust. Most of the harms that people experience in life is triggered psychologically first.The immune system of the mental state is been neglected and let down, and when that happens for a certain period of time, it extends and exposes the physical self to danger. For instance; Most of the depression that is not caused by organ dysfunction, is as a result of accumulated ugly, fearful and life threatening events. Those events will keep weakening the mental immune system, until it loses its safeness, and the ability to trust yourself psychologically will be broken. And that will extend to threatening and affecting your physical self and behavior.
Let’s get back to the First Step; HONESTY TO SELF; It takes courage to be completely honest to yourself. Because this involves acknowledging and accepting your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. This means knowing when to seek for help, knowing when to walk away from that relationship, knowing when to say NO, knowing when to go after what lights you up, knowing when to acquire more knowledge. Being honest to self helps you develop confidence and sense of trust and safety. To be honest to yourself requires you to face your fears. And It’s not an easy thing to face your fears, but sometimes behind those fence of fears lies your breakthrough that will strengthen your mental immunity. Honesty to self leads to self awareness and discovery, and self discovery can be adventurous, scary, intriguing, or, and pleasant.Self discovery is the first tool required to lead a successful life. I want you to challenge yourself today, to start being intentional about telling yourself the truth always. This will launch you into deeper intimacy with yourself, and the ability for you to trust yourself, and feel safe psychologically will increase. When this happens you will be amazed how successful you will become in life, and most importantly how people around you will feel safe psychologically.
I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS; PSYCHOLOGICAL SAFETY AND TRUST IS THE SUREST WAY TO DEVELOPING SELF CONFIDENCE.
Next week I will teach on the second step for developing psychological safety and trust, please stay tuned.